Tuesday, October 25, 2011

New York Bound By Lisa Conrad Cohen

I wake up at 4:00am to leave for the airport at 5:00am to catch
A 7:00am flight to New York from Burbank airport. Being as vain as I am I make myself as presentable as I can. Afterall I’m now on the hit reality show “KENDRA”. What if somebody recognizes me and wants my autograph, or have a photo opp with me. I slab on some makeup not to scare anyone. I get to the airport in enough time to grab a Tullys vanilla latte and make a quick stop in the ladies room. As I walk to my gate I noticed a few people staring at me. Wow people actually recognize me as the Matchmaker/Friend on“KENDRA”. Better get the pen out to sign my first autograph.
I hope my hair looks okay for a photo. I’m at the gate and look down at my purse to grab my boarding pass and notice the longest, never ending strand of toilet paper stuck to my shoe which I’ve been dragging with me all the way through the airport. Mortified I tear it off my shoe realizing that I won’t be on TMZ. I board my plane, sit on the runway for almost 3 hours and play every game imaginable with my 3 year old, to try and keep her from running up and down the aisle of the plane. At this point I was quite frustrated, stressed, and anxious to get to New York. HELP I need a bloody mary!!
The pilot announces that due to heavy winds we might have to stop in Denver to refuel, but first we’ll have to deplane for 20 minutes before we take off. Another bloody mary please!!
Now I’m ready to jump out of my skin, but I’m trying to keep it together for my 3 year old daughter. In the terminal I walk calmly to the bathroom to throw cold water on my face and realize that the woman in the mirror can be me. Is that really me? Do I need botox? Should I get my eyes done like everyone else on TV? Do I really want to look like the Housewives of Beverly Hills….Hell no…I want people to recognize me from my high school year book photo.
I get back on the plane and notice an email that just came in through Facebook which reads, “It’s your old friend from 20 years ago…I was looking through old boxes (KEY WORD “OLD”) and I came across a photo of you who 20+ years later looking more beautiful than before…Please let me know if you are the same Lisa Conrad in the photo. Yup it was me alright…with my 80’s Linda Hamilton hairdo.
Now this guy is a good 10 years younger than me so at this moment I was on cloud nine!! A boy toy thinks I’m beautiful?
At that very moment I felt like I was 25 again. To all you ladies out there in your forties, remember this…if you feel young, and you love yourself, and exude confidence, and take pride in your appearance you will conquer all. The answer to nab the guy of your dreams in NOT running to the plastic surgeon for an eye lift, or shots of botox.
Get your ass to the gym, a yoga class, eat healthy, see a good therapist once a week (or twice if you need it), buy a new sexy dress, get a new updated hair style. If that’s what it takes to feel better about yourself, DO IT!! Be proud of who you are as a woman. Let me tell you if I wasn’t happy in my current relationship you bet your ass I would be with that boy toy in a quick minute…but I have what I want and I’m happy to say…
he thinks I’m beautiful.