DO's and DON'Ts of DATING

Here are some of my Do's and Don'ts of Dating 

DO go on a first date with a positive attitude. Remember a first date is about seeing if you want to go on a second date You're interviewing this person to see if he will be your long-term partner.

DO watch how a man treats his mother. If he treats her with respect and love he will most likely be a good partner.

DO understand that a classy decent woman will always offer to pay her share, but she would really prefer to be treated on the first date.

DON’T sound needy or anxious on your first date. It's a real turnoff.
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DON'T expect to sleep together on the first date. We all love a challenge and something to look forward to.

DON'T become a texting addict... it's not sexy. Just ask her out and make it happen!

If you use these dating tips I guarantee you will be on your way to successful dating. Many people ask me why they're single. I try to help them make smart choices when it comes to choosing the person that's best suited for them. It's like a puzzle and the pieces have to fit. One of my gifts to many of my clients is teaching them how to communicate without sounding needy or anxious. Many women who have been in a long term relationship and are starting over do this again and again. It's self sabotage and a real turn off. Men seek women who are confident, not overly available, and a bit mysterious. It's the challenge that's exciting that makes you want to wake up in the morning. I'm not saying once they conquer it's over. Keep it exciting, a bit unpredictable, and fun. I hear over and over again "I'm bored with my partner" or "I need more excitement". We all want to live an exciting life with the person we love. We want the sex to be great, go on vacations, have enough money to buy that purse you've had your eye on, get a massage now and again, be the best parents we can be to our kids. We can have all that but we have to put the work into it. It doesn't just come out of the sky. 
I'm here to help each and every one of you bring the excitement back into your current relationship or into your brand new one. We all want to have a reason to wake up in the morning so let's begin now!

 

Feel Goods Before Valentine's Day

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Valentines Day is coming and we all want to feel good about ourselves, especially when we're about to go out on that date.

One of the things you can do before your date is to write down anything that made you feel good that 

week. Here are two of my feel goods.

My friend told me she and her four year old daughter were at the book store looking at the magazines when her daughter suddenly grabbed a magazine with Cindy Crawford on the cover and said with excitement “IT’S ELLA’s MOM." When she told me the story I asked her if her daughter had been to the doctor lately to have her eyes checked.  I honestly have to say it made my day even if it did come from a four year old.  I think I'll wait awhile longer to call the plastic surgeon.

It was 8:00pm and I was sitting at Starbucks answering emails when suddenly I noticed a bottle of wine on the table. Starbucks is really selling wine to their customers?  When the waiter approached me I said “A glass of Chardonay please” He responded  “Can I see your ID." Is he serious? I looked at him and said ”You must be on drugs." I thought to myself should I pass on the glass of wine, not give him my drivers license and have him think I'm younger than I am.  I did want that glass of wine so I hesitantly handed him my drivers license and he said “WOW you look great."  I enjoyed that glass of wine even though he was young enough to be my son.

Try and focus on your positive attributes and make them work for you. Remember no one wants to be with Debbie downer! We need to love ourselves before we can accept and give love to someone else.

You Can Make It Happen

This is the start of the New Year and a new beginning for many of us. Here are some tips to prepare you to meet that special someone.

Wake up and throw ice cold water on your face… it will invigorate you.

Wear something you love yourself in even if it’s a warm up suit and your going to the market. Make sure your teeth are brushed and flossed just in case you meet that IT person in the produce dept at Whole Foods or Starbucks...great places to meet someone.

One of the most important pieces of advice to everyone is to smile even if you’re not in the best mood. No one wants to talk to you if you have a scowl on your face. People want to be around positive, happy people, unless of course you’re a miserable person who wants to meet someone more miserable than yourself to make yourself seem happier but that doesn’t usually work…could turn into a train wreck.  Give someone a compliment…it’s such a good feeling to make someone feel good about themselves and it will come back to you in spades.

If you see someone smiling at you don’t just leave. Smile back and say “Do I know You From Somewhere”.  It works like MAGIC!! Have your business card with you at all times.

Good luck!

More tips to come.

AN UNNECESSARY CRIME

The tragedy in Connecticut is a wake up call to all parents to love and adore your children and tell them you love them everyday. Help your children with their self esteem, and give them the confidence and encouragement to reach their goals. Tell your children to talk to YOU with any issues they might have, and no matter how bad it may be, you won’t love them any less. Tell them you’ll be there for them to help them through it. We are their teachers to give them the tools to help them grow into good human beings. Children with mental illnesss need special attention and can not be ignored. Give them the life they deserve so they’ll feel safe in the world and not alone and angry. As parents we need to invest time into our children. We don’t know why this horrifying event happened and may never will. My love and prayers go out to all the families who lost their beautiful innocent children, and those who lost a parent, wife, husband and friend.

DO IT NOW!

At my women's networking meeting social media expert Randi Sherman spoke about how important it is to relay a certain message to people when posting on Facebook. So here goes: I want to reiterate what I wrote in my blog the other day. I'm not telling overweight women to give up hope I'm just saying don't expect to meet a man who's physically fit, tall dark, handsome...and successful. Your chances of meeting someone are much higher if you're open to meeting someone who is in a similar weight and nutritional situation as yourself. I'm all about self improvement. I'm one of the vainest women I know, but that doesn't make me a bad person. I like looking good for my man, but first and foremost for myself. I want to love what I see when I look in the mirror. I want to feel young and sexy, because when you feel it you exude it and it's exciting and exhilarating to not only you but those you want to attract. Do it NOW!! Don't wait for your husband of 25 years to walk through the door and say "I don't want to be married anymore". Ladies you better be ready for that! My dear friend Gene Bua would say "Anything Can Happen" ...aint that the truth! Don't you think Holly Petraeus could have saved herself from the humiliation of her husband's affair with not one but two women, if she had done a complete makeover. Look at a photo of the Petraeus' back when they met. She was a pretty woman who let herself go, became the best mother and wife she can be...supported him throughout his career. There was just one problem ...she neglected herself, so of course shes going to stay with him... this woman's self esteem is already destroyed. David Petraeus is no Don Juan but he's powerful,looks his age and is physically fit. Ladies there are so many opportunities presented to us that we can benefit from if we just do it! It could be life changing. In my upcoming blog I will share with you some of my tips on how to self improve physically and emotionally so you'll be ready to meet HIM!

Goodbye Vanilla Latte

In the last two days at least six women approached me asking "Can you find me the man of my dreams?' I would have said yes but there was one problem...they were all at least 25 pounds overweight and looked 20 yrs older than their age. How the hell am I supposed to find a guy for them if they don't take pride in the way they look. Men are visual creatures. Are they shallow...hell yea they're shal low but that's just the way it is. So ladies, get off your behinds, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get to the gym or hire a personal trainer and start eating healthy. You attract what you put out there. If you want a man who's physically fit, smart and successful than you have to earn it. I just started working out today with my former trainer Sam Bell who taught me eight years ago how to eat right. He changed my life and now eight years later is changing it again. He told me to give up my addiction of my morning fix at Starbucks...a grande vanilla latte and switch to green tea. He promised me that in six weeks time with a healthy diet and excercise and lots of hydration I will lose the excess whatever you call it between my belly button and my pubic bone. You know the extra stuff that all of us women want to get rid of after having babies. Just think if you follow Sam's instructions you won't have to go get a tummy tuck! So ladies, start now and you will love yourself for it...and I can guarantee HE will too!

A MITZVAH CAN CHANGE YOUR LIFE

In the past week I’ve done 5 Mitvah’s. For those of you who don’t know what a Mitzvah is, it’s a good deed. Here are my Mitzvahs. 1. Did the 5K for Brain Cancer with my friend Rhonda Finkel and her team Think Positive. 2. Made another successful match with two people who were about to give up hope. Yippee!! 3. Gave clothes to someone who needs them 4. Made grocery sacks out of felt on Mitzvah Day at Kol Tikvah 5. Sent a donation to my favorite charity Now I’m not patting myself on the back, but it’s a damn good feeling. If you do one or two Mitzvahs a week something good will come to you. Remember a Mitzvah can be something so small as paying a compliment to someone who might not feel good about themselves. It could be life changing. I know this woman who would walk around with a chip on her shoulder. At first I thought she was a snob, or just an unfriendly person. I found out through a source that she had a horrible childhood and is very guarded, shy and insecure. The next time I saw her she was wearing this cool sweater so I reached out by saying "I love your sweater, it's so flattering on you...where did you get it"? She stopped dead in her tracks and didn't know what to say. At first she thought I was talking to the person she was with. She said "Thanks" and said she bought it at H&M. I told her she should buy one in every color and then I got into my car. The next time I ran into her she approached me first and said Hello and told me she went back to H&M and bought two more sweaters in different colors. She then asked me for my card because someone told her I was a matchmaker. She's currently in a healthy relationship with someone I introduced her to a year ago. Funny what a Mitzvah can do!